THE TIMES WHEN I COMMUNICATE WITH THE INTENTION OF GETTING A POINT ACROSS…
AT MOST MOMENTS IN MY LIFE, IF ANYONE CAN SAY WHAT I MEAN AND MEAN WHAT I SAY, I CAN (ISN’T THAT RE-ASSURING?) – BUT ISN’T THAT OBVIOUS? SO WHY AM I COMPELLED TO DISCUSS IT?

No-one should be too surprised to hear that, as a professional translator, I pride myself on verbal competence and dexterity. So…? Well, some might agree that the discussion of imagination is part of the basis of psychology, but I’m sure everyone would think I would be lying if I claimed (or should that be “boasted”?) that no-one and nothing could surprise me. What I’m saying is, however hard I may try, I can’t think of everything. (Hey, have you ever seen the film “Limitless”, with Bradley Cooper and Robert De Niro? Even when you’re on NZT, you might end up surprised at the turns you’ve taken.) So what do you do if, after having done a translation job for someone as a professional thing, you’re expected to confront the idea that you’ve done your job “correctly” (the inverted commas are there for a reason) as a result of the client having the temerity to, say, suggest that you’ve been wholly and pathetically dependent on Google Translate or other translation software when you know damn well that that hasn’t been the case?

This may sound very “loose” for what I would have you believe is an earnest point to make – certainly a broad sweeping generalisation – but… there’s different kinds / categories of bad translation. For example, take the average person whose mother tongue is English, who’s bright and educated, whose command of French is not perfect but still sound – if they were required to say “I want to leave school” in French, do you really think they would do it completely word-for-word and say something like “Je veux à sortir école”? Seriously, if anyone out there knows any blog or anything somewhere on the Internet where people discuss what is meant by “literal translation”, I would love to hear of it.

In this comment I include a part of the English text of the instruction manual for my watch, followed by my own idea of how it might have been written by a foreigner with a language other than English as their mother tongue, whose English is by no means no poor but, to a native English speaker like myself, it is very much… slanted. I hope this doesn’t sound patronising to any foreigners reading this whose mother tongue is anything other than English. Mind you, these days in Britain, the truth is that a lot of British people think that some foreigners moving to Britain speak English better than the locals, and who could blame them, when the depressing truth that we are reminded of in videos like this is anything to go by?

Anyway, here goes.
How the English text in the instruction manual really reads:

“Read This Before You Set the Time and Date!
This watch is preset with a number of city codes, each of which represents the time zone where that city is located. When setting the time, it is important that you first select the correct city code for your Home City (the city where you normally use the watch). If your location is not included in the preset city codes, select the preset city code that is in the same time zone as your location.
Note that all of the times for the World Time City codes […] and Dual Time City are displayed in accordance with the time and date settings you configure for the Timekeeping Mode.”

Now I write down my idea of how a foreigner might have written the same text in English (note that the differences from native speakers’ English are by no means always conspicuously obvious):
“Read This Before You Set the Time and Date!

This watch has in it a number of city codes that were included in it during the time that it was manufactured. There is this important condition when you set the time: you must select the correct city code that is there for your home city (this is the city where you will use the watch in the situation that is the normal situation for you). If your location is not one of the ones that are to be found in the list of the city codes that were included in your watch during the time that it was manufactured, please choose one of these city codes that is in the same time zone as where your location is.
Please understand: the watch displays all of the times that are the World Time City codes times […] and the Dual Time City time in accordance with the time and date determinations that you input in the Timekeeping Mode.”

What do you think? Do you agree that that is this a good and accurate example? Or maybe you have a better example. Say what you want.