A taste for substance

A TASTE FOR SUBSTANCE IN TRANSLATION

Surely the worst thing that can happen to a professional translator, like myself, is to be lost for words when at work. I mean, nothing can substitute the confidence that you are doing a translation job not just “well” i.e. at a perfunctory level, but with a certain kind of mastery that will make the reader feel confidence from the start, even if it had not been suggested to them beforehand that they should specifically assess their confidence in you and your work. I am wholly committed to pursuing and maintaining that. I mean, how would I be taken seriously as a professional translator otherwise? And a reasonable part of that is to do with a taste for the substance in the subject matter of the original material.

Have you ever felt like you were looking for something without really knowing what it is? When was the last time you reached the point of no return in your interest in a subject? And did you ever ask yourself about its substance – what really makes it… just what it is (and specifically in the real world, not just in your creative imagination – at the risk of causing shock, probably more the subconscious, rather than conscious, aspects of it)?

Now, having said all that: it’s far easier to translate something with little to no substance than it is to translate something with a lot of it. To provide an example, Vanilla Ice’s Ninja Rap https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_K6971WmAs (as sung in the feature film Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II – 1991) certainly has no substance, nothing capable of any kind of intellectual enlightenment whatsoever (the chorus in particular), because its entire content revolves around a “less than fine” kind of entertainment that only a child with a lot to learn, or someone in an altered state of mind, could get momentarily lost in and indeed carried away by and call it pleasurable / satisfying (forgetting the worries of the real world, of course). Everything is outlandish as it calls for suspension of disbelief. Compare that with something objective and formal in real life, like a business presentation or court documents. They will be much harder to translate, won’t they?

It should help to put this into some sort of context: here I have translated a slew of, shall we say, things that children have actually said which are amusing and endearing for varied reasons, into French and German. But I will strictly state that they are (at least most of the time) things which have a “not fully true / sensical” element about them; but that said, it is hardly likely that they will have any bearing on anyone’s opinions of or attitudes toward anything “real”. That’s my account of what gives them their appeal and allows them to command attention the way they do. They are all taken from the “humour book” “Small talk” (Nanette Newman).

English: “Once you’ve had a baby you can’t put it back.”
French: “Après avoir né un bébé, on ne peut pas le remettre.”
German: “Nachdem man ein Baby gehabt hat, kann man es nicht zurücksetzen.”

English: “My rabbit was very sorry to die because he liked eating.”
French: “Mon lapin était très triste à mourir parce qu’il adorait manger.”
German: “Mein Kaninchen war beim Sterben sehr traurig, weil das Essen ihm gefiel.”

English: “I say my prayers with my eyes open so I can hear what I am saying.”
French: “J’annonce mes prières avec les yeux ouverts pour que je puisse entendre ce que je dis.”
German: “Ich sage meine Gebete mit offenen Augen, damit ich hören kann was ich sage.”

English: “You must take care of love – if you don’t it goes bad.”
French: “Il faut prendre soin de l’amour – si on ne fait pas cela il devient pourri.”
German: “Man muss sich um die Liebe kümmern – wenn das nicht gemacht wird, dann verfällt sie.”

English: “We are going to Windsor Castle to see the Queen’s private parts.”
French: “Nous allons aller au château de Windsor pour voir les parties intimes de la Reine.”
German: “Wir werden den Windsor-Schloss besuchen, um die privaten Parts der Königin zu sehen.”

English: “My mummy cried on my first day at school so I had to take her home.”
French: “Maman a pleuré pendant mon premier jour à l’école, alors j’ai dû la ramener à la maison.”
German: “Während meines ersten Schultages hat Mutti geweint, deswegen musste ich sie wieder zu Hause bringen.”

English: “No-one covered Jesus up when he was born, he could have caught flu.”
French: “Personne n’a couvert Jésus pendant sa naissance, il a pu attrapé la grippe.”
German: “Als Jesus geboren wurde hat niemand ihn umgehüllt, er könnte die Grippe bekommen haben.”

English: “Peace. Mummy and Daddy like peace. They don’t often get it.”
French: “La paix. Maman et Papa aiment la paix. Ils l’ont guère.”
German: “Der Friede. Mutti und Vati lieben Friede. Sie bekommen ihn selten.”

But here’s an example of a topic with substance which, in a way, revolves around language in the real world: maybe you have heard of all this talk about people in the UK wanting to forbid the term “junior doctor” in case it sounds condescending to those it labels. The substance behind all this? It’s the pressure that the NHS is under right now. That’s what really stimulated it. Everyone knows it, even if they won’t admit it.

You see, stuff with substance is not just “important” (but it’s not like that word is to be regarded as a label which automatically confirms some kind of high status on whatever it designates); it’s accepted as genuinely engaging by most people (no matter who they are or who they think they are), and not just in the short term. In a way, it’s possible to be both right and wrong about certain aspects of such stuff. These topics are very easy for anyone to have half-intelligent, if potentially contentious, debates about, and, depending on the particular circumstances, it is ultimately capable of fostering education and / or ongoing personal development. There is an afterword to this point: is it not an intelligent idea that the hardest psychological / mental thing to destroy is your own ignorance in connection with something, especially when you are incapable of making guesses with regard to it?

The only possible response to this in a context of producing quality translation work is to find ways to be receptive to what goes on in the real world – outside of the boundaries of my cosy office, in my case. It may be true that I am on my guard against being too casual and insouciant with regard to the expressions I use in my work on a surface level… and yet there are still times when I feel like a fool, as if I should know better than to be “reluctant” or “ashamed” to be inclined to consider more potential in if otherwise quite ordinary things in life; potential which, for all I know, could indeed go as far as what might be technically termed “occasional wonders”. Instead I seem more given to just always regard things purely logically rather than with any kind of human touch – but it would be terrible if, every time I tried to articulate my own reasoning about something, it would sound like I was using a lot of clichés and PBAs, or making excuses for failing to understand others’ sensitivities regarding it – sensitivities which only exist because of who they are.