HOW TRANSLATION PROOFREADING IS NOT ALWAYS STRAIGHTFORWARD

Foreword: I have known translation agencies set their own specific procedures for proofreading work and outline things in impressive detail – they don’t shy away from defining their own lists of mistake categories, for example.

One proofreading job I did not too long ago really challenged my ability to make decisions about whether this bit or that bit was “OK” or “not OK”. But, at the end of the day, I wouldn’t be uneasy defending any of the decisions I made. That’s the important thing.

At the beginning I had the French original and I had the English translation already done by someone else. Now, I have to say that whoever did the English translation was sloppy in many places, and yet I judged that they sure did it with confidence, including with a solid grasp of relevant correct terminology and set expressions; I was just surprised by how determined they seemed to be to put things clearly differently compared to the original, far from what I would have considered a “normal” good translation which, at least mostly, would generally loosely parallel the exact wording applied in the original in some way without being blatantly word-for-word (especially in the case of short sentences). For my part, in practice, when I compared this English translation to the French original I frequently saw wildly differing expressions and writing structuring, as if the translator had been determined to write stuff that was notably incongruent compared with the original work, with certain bits of information in a given sentence / phrase appearing somewhere else entirely compared to where they were in the original (such as in another sentence), or even the seemingly deliberate omission of certain bits of information entirely in the English version (in the belief that stating it again would have been redundant, by my judgement), AND they wrote things which were nowhere to be seen in the original French version! Put simply, I couldn’t believe how much I was taken aback by the product of someone else’s work I was charged with proofreading, even if, all things considered, my own work wasn’t what I would call truly “hard work” by a long shot. I have the unedited English version and the French version here – I insist that making lucid judgements about what I ended up reading in places in the English translation when I did this job, was often anything but straightforward. But I did what I did to have it “read better in a context of full consideration of the original”, with a commitment to banishment of awkwardness and lack of confidence, if that makes sense. (In case you are in any doubt, I know that, under the terms of GDPR, it will be OK to make this information public, as it is instructions for a product that is, or at least soon will be, on sale.)

ORIGINAL FRENCH
Activ’M Gel@ est un gel matifiant non gras, composé de silicones de grade Médical de dernière génération sélectionnés suivant leur biocompatibilité.
Activ’M Gel* est indiqué pour la prise en charge des cicatrices hypertrophiques et chéloides, et pour l’amélioration esthétique de votre cicatrice récente ou ancienne :atténue visiblement vos cicatrices.

Activ’M Gel@ a une action bénéfique
 – En prévenant
 – En guérissant
Activ’M Gel@ est idéal et facile à utiliser en particulier sur le visage, les zones de flexion, articulations, là où l’utilisation des pansements silicones est rendue délicate. Après application, Activ’M Gel@ forme un film protecteur fin et transparent au touché soyeux.

INDICATIONS
Les qualités intrinsèques du gel de silicone Activ’M Gel@ améliorent l’aspect des cicatrices :
 En curatif pour les cicatrices hypertrophiques et chéloïdes, récentes et anciennes.
 En préventif, sur plaies fermées, suite à une intervention chirurgicale ou brûlures.
Activ’M Gel@ est Indiqué chez les enfants.

CONTRE INDICATIONS
Activ’M Gel* ne doit pas etre utilisé dans les cas suivants
 Plaies ouvertes, suite à une intervention chirurgicale ou brûlures. – En cas de macération
 Sur les muqueuses et à proximité des yeux
 Ne pas Inhaler ni Ingérer Activ’M Gel
En cas de réaction cutanée, interrompre le traitement et consulter votre médecin ou spécialiste.

EFFETS SECONDAIRES
Aucun effet secondaire.

MODE D’APPLICATION
 Avant toute application, bien nettoyer (avec un savon neutre) et sécher la cicatrice.
 Déposer une petite quantité d’Activ’M Gel* sur la cicatrice et étaler en fine couche.
 Appliquer 2 fois par jour,matin et soir.
 Bien refermer le tube après emploi.
La durée de traitement minimum recommandée est de 2 à 4 mois. Un traitement peut etre prolongé jusqu’à 1 an.
Par frottements, une partie du film protecteur peut etre enlevée. Pour autant il résidera encore une fine pellicule de silicone sur la cicatuce. laissant un effet soyeux sur la surface de votre peau.

***END***

ORIGINAL ENGLISH TRANSLATION (BEFORE THE CHANGES I MADE – THIS INCLUDES SPELLING MISTAKES AND SUCH THAT I WAS AWARE OF)
Activ’M Gel* is a silicone gel with a matte effect composed of a new generation of silicones. These components were selected for their biocompatibility.
Activ’M Gel@ is indicated for the treatment of hypertrophic and keloids scars, and for the aesthetic enhancement of your recent or old scar reduces visibly your scars Activ’M Gel has beneficial effects:
 By preventing
 By healing
Activ’M Gel• is mainly used on face and bending zone area, body joints, where using a silicone dressing is not easy to place. After application Activ’M Only forms a protective and invisible film on the skin.

USES
Intrisic advantages of silicone gel improve appearance of old and new scars.
 To cure hypertrophic or keloid oidor new scars
 To prevent closed wound to become keloid or hypertrophic scar (folowing chirurgical operations, bum injure).
 Activ’M Gel. can be used on children’s scars.

CONTRAINDICATIONS
Activ’M Gel@ cannot be used In the following cases.
 Open wound,
 Maceration,
 Burn,
 Mucosa,
 Do not inhale Activ’M Gel*.
In event of skin reaction, suspend treatment and consult your doctor.

SECONDARY EFFECTS
Side effects are unknown at this time.

DIRECTIONS
 Before use, dean and thoroughly thy the scar.
 Apply a small quantity of Activ’M Gel• directly to the scarred area. Allow to dry for a few seconds.
 Activ’M Gel• must be applied twice daily.
 Put the top back on tube carefully.
It is recommended to continue the treatment for 2 to 4 months.
By friction a part of the silicone protective film can be removed. As long as a fine amount of the silicone film remains on the skin, leaving on your skin a silky feel.

***END***

But I sense that people are keen to assess the exact output of what I did, so here it is; compare at your leisure.
Activ’M Gel* is a silicone gel with a matte effect, composed of a new generation of medical-grade silicones. These components were selected for their biocompatibility.
Activ’M Gel@ is used in the treatment of hypertrophic and keloid scars, and in aesthetic enhancement: it visibly reduces your scars, whether they are recent or old.

Activ’M Gel has the following beneficial effects:
 Prevention
 Healing
Activ’M Gel• is mainly used on the face and in bending zone areas and on body joints where silicone dressing is not easy to apply. After application Activ’M forms only a protective and invisible film on the skin.

USES
The intrinsic qualities of the silicone gel Activ’M Gel@ improve appearance of old and new scars.
 They cure hypertrophic or keloid scars, whether recent or old
 They prevent closed wounds from becoming keloid or hypertrophic scars (following surgery or burn injuries).
 Activ’M Gel. can be used on children’s scars.

CONTRAINDICATIONS
Activ’M Gel@ cannot be used in the following cases:
 Open wound (following surgery or burn injuries),
 Maceration,
 Mucosa and close to eyes,
 Do not inhale or ingest Activ’M Gel*.
In event of skin reaction, suspend treatment and consult your doctor.

SECONDARY EFFECTS
No known side effects.

DIRECTIONS
 Before use, clean and dry the scar thoroughly (using a neutral soap).
 Apply a small quantity of Activ’M Gel• directly to the scarred area. Allow to dry for a few seconds.
 Activ’M Gel• must be applied twice daily – morning and afternoon.
 Put the top back on the tube carefully after use.
It is recommended to continue the treatment for 2 to 4 months minimum. Treatment can be prolonged for up to 1 year
With friction, a part of the silicone protective film can be removed. As long as a fine amount of the silicone film remains on the skin, leaving on your skin with a silky feel.