MY WRITING STYLE
I wrote this blog to show how I understand the importance of good writing skills and a good writing style when it comes to doing good translation work – certainly when it’s translation work which someone somewhere sincerely wants taken on good authority. For isn’t that what being a professional translator (like me) is all about?
Here I took this rant written by someone who calls himself “Toobis” (real name Chris Scrimes), who by my own judgement is a foolish attention whore and shameless “shock jock” archetype (like that Alex Jones bloke) when acting like he is making “big” points that should be enough to stop people in their tracks (if only!); he states opinions and attitudes which, to say the least, are far from commendable and have no appreciable intelligence merit (mind you, it’s worth considering that he never wanted the content to be taken completely at face value). http://web.archive.org/web/20071030060851/http://toobis.com/rant-drunkdrivers.html
Now, any intelligent person would agree that it’s all written in a style which is far too personal and casual for anyone – including me, I should emphasise – to take it seriously; and yet, whether you want to hear it or not, I am amused by its wry humour factor all the same. At the end of the day, though, you are entitled to your own opinions of this guy and his work, and please don’t believe I necessarily actually endorse or defend anything he has written in real terms just because I included a link to this rant.
Getting back to the topic at hand: this blog features an exercise I did in which I rewrote this rant in a more mature writing style, even if the rant itself is but an exaggerated example of something which should never be taken seriously, and that’s why I chose it for this blog article (and I wouldn’t think less of you if this guy’s rant offended you).
This is what I have done:
“Exactly why are most people so concerned and emotive about drunk driving?”
I am mad… about MADD! For reasons which elude me, I found myself perusing the website of MADD-Canada today. I am prepared to assert that I have not seen so much IMBECILIC WAFFLE in one place since George Bush’s speech in which he declared war on Iraq! It’s not like I don’t appreciate the good intentions of Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but, all things considered, it ultimately amounts to a catalogue of PURE PIFFLE! That said, I would like to point out that I enjoy having a beer or a few shots of vodka from time to time, at parties and so forth, and I CAN DRIVE VERY WELL WHILE DRUNK, AND SO CAN LOTS OF PEOPLE.
There are some people who simply CANNOT DRIVE, even if they are sober. You may well be familiar with such people, and what to expect from them. They are always cutting you off in traffic, or waiting too long to move after the light turns green, or driving 15 km (that’s METRIC for AMERICAN readers) under the speed limit for no other reason other than THEIR LACK OF CONSIDERATION OR THEIR WRY EAGERNESS TO ENJOY AN UNFUNNY “LAUGH” AT SOMEBODY ELSE’S EXPENSE! It is these individuals who always get into head-on collisions, upon which their wrecked vehicles end up strewn across the highway, making your COMMUTE to work, quite simply, INTOLERABLY SLOW! I will not dispute that people will be filled with regret when they drive by and see that people have died, but it is inevitable that one will feel a little bit irritated that they even got into the car that morning, for the simple fact that SOME PEOPLE JUST CAN’T DRIVE – which THEY THEMSELVES PROBABLY KNEW ABOUT AT THE TIME THAT THEY GOT BEHIND THE WHEEL!
At an undetermined point in the last decade or so, CANADA and AMERICA and ALL OF NORTH AMERICA began to cease TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for their actions, and they started to blame everything that goes wrong in life on anything and everything but the PERSON RESPONSIBLE! Take the scenario of an IMBECILE who drives poorly, who decides to consume a few beers prior to getting behind the wheel. He (although it was probably a She, considering that WOMEN CAN’T DRIVE!!) ends up having a car accident, which probably WOULD HAVE HAPPENED ANYWAY, and later on the police determine the presence of alcohol in the driver’s blood stream. Before long, those employed in MASS MEDIA outfits enjoy a DAY FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT AND ANTICIPATION, as they publicise the breaking news “a drunk driver killed someone today” (news which is more along the lines of SENSATIONALISM, or, as it is sometimes referred to, YELLOW JOURNALISM). The standard response is to declare that IT IS JUST BEYOND A DOUBT that the ALCOHOL is to blame! Apparently it doesn’t matter at all that, just yesterday, that driver was ANNOYING ME by forgetting to turn his / her signal off, driving TOO SLOWLY, and just plain ACTING LIKE AN IMBECILE. SOME PEOPLE CAN’T DRIVE, AND THESE PEOPLE SHOULDN’T BE ON THE ROAD!
I YEARN FOR THE DAY WHEN PEOPLE WILL WAKE UP ABOUT THIS TOPIC! DRUNK DRIVING DEMONISATION RHETORIC is THE TALK OF RUBBISH, and NONSENSE, and it is just PLAIN IDIOTIC. I fail to recall how many times I have driven myself home STONED and DRUNK, but that said, it simply does not IMPEDE my driving ability! NOT BY THE SLIGHTEST MEASURE! And the reason for this is that, BECAUSE I AM A GOOD DRIVER SOBER, I AM A GOOD DRIVER DRUNK!
What displeases me most about this subject is parents who WHINE INCESSANTLY, commenting, essentially, “Oh dear, I can’t stop crying. I lost my only daughter to a drunk driver. This grief is too much.” I DON’T BAT AN EYELID when I encounter such people. Myself, I can’t help wondering exactly why your daughter would be stumbling around in the middle of the street in the dark in the first place. IT WOULD NOT SURPRISE ME HAD SHE BEEN JUST AS INEBRIATED AS THE DRUNK DRIVER. Now, such comments may be resultant of me being in a bad mood or something, BUT SHE PROBABLY DESERVED TO BE KILLED. My point here is that the problem is not ALCOHOL, it is IDIOTS WHO CAN’T BE TRUSTED BEHIND THE WHEEL! Good Lord, I am ever so irritated right now!
Was it alcohol that killed this driver? Or was it rather the fact that he JUST SIMPLY COULD NOT DRIVE AT ALL?
My name is Toobis; I NOW SIGN OUT.