CHECKING / PROOFING: THE ELUSIVE ARGUMENT – NEVER MIND SOLUTIONS – OF WHAT WORKS BEST
No matter how hard I try in my work as a translator, there will be times when someone finds fault with it which they expect me to be ashamed of, under the flimsiest of pretexts, it seems.
So what is the best way to do proofreading? And is it strictly the same for everyone? Or does everyone have to, somehow, find out what is best for them?
“Word for word” certainly doesn’t work, but maybe I should discuss “sentence by sentence” in more detail. You can look at what you’ve written in your translation product first before comparing it against the original, or, conversely, you can re-read the original before gauging that against what you ended up writing. Personally, I prefer the former, but it may be argued that that doesn’t always work. It’s basically lies in what you’re encouraged to think of by what you read, and subsequently by what you think of as you look for things to connect it with (which usually happens on a subconscious level).
Where do you (or would you) “start”? What elements of the typical sentence do / would you use as your starting point(s)? Sometimes it is necessary to agree formally that a given word is this type of word category or that one (for me, at least). And sometimes it’s comforting for me to agree that a bit which constitutes a whole sentence is but part of a bigger sentence. Or I may use certain types of clause in a sentence as a starting point as I am checking that sentence.
But terms can be a real bugger. Sometimes I’m familiar with the “standard” meaning of a given word (which is often “what my teacher said” years ago) but it stands for something else when used in a given example – the word is used in a way only a native speaker would be likely to acknowledge, never mind use; and when I fail to acknowledge it simply because I can’t, I get treated like I’m guilty of ignorance and the client may demand a fee deduction. Or they may get upset because I failed to translate something as one given thing and that thing only. Nouns (and not just noun permutations of verbs) can have synonyms – or disputed synonyms – not just adjectives and verbs; but there is no single type of, say, string (guitar strings vs. ball of string) or code (entry code vs. warrior code vs. Enigma machine code); and the common word used in another language for a word you would always use readily in your own language… their “default label” may not be the same in both languages! Common short phrases I’m not familiar with e.g. “Paris en toutes lettres” for “Paris in full”; which is not like “It’s raining cats and dogs.” In this way you don’t always write 100% self-corroborative text when you think you do. “Pouch” is like a pocket, but I always thought pouches were found on animals until that German press release on leather products I did for someone on 6th November 2014.
Of course, it’s not just terms as stand-alone items as such. Perhaps predictably, I include below a number of work-related anecdotes from various translation projects I have done recently, which might help to illustrate the true scope of it all:
French original: “dommage que le store ne soit pas aussi bien fourni que celui des Android”
English translation: “It’s a shame that the store is not as easily accessible as that of Android”
Here, I chose not to translate “aussi bien fourni” literally i.e. “it’s a shame that the store is not as well provided”
German original: “Zudem ist auch der beste Standard nicht in Stein gemeisselt.”
English translation: “In addition, even the best standard is by no means set in stone”
…not “also” the best standard.
French original: “Très facile à prendre en main en venant d un univers ios”
English translation: “Very easy to hold – and this is coming from someone who normally uses IoS”
It refers to a phone, and people can appreciate a new phone if it’s “easier to hold”; but it in retrospect it was probably more like “very easy to use”.
French original: “Jazz, tango, pop ou même musique électronique, Paolo Conte ne s’est jamais fixé aucune limite.”
English translation: “Whether it’s jazz, tango, pop or even electronic music, Paolo Conte has never had any fixed limits.”
Another case where I was quick to decide against any kind of “close” i.e. more literal translation; for “Paolo Conte ne s’est jamais fixé aucune limite” translated into English literally is like, “Paolo Conte has never set himself any limit(s).”
French original: “La Révolution est dans l’assiette”
English translation: “The Révolution is close at hand”
“La Révolution est dans l’assiette” is just another common popular phrase with a set meaning which I had never heard up until then – and one which I knew better than to translate literally; i.e. not “The Revolution is in the plate!”
German original: “Insbesondere in Europa lösten sie eine Korrektur der wirtschaftlichen Erwartungen aus”
English translation: “In Europe in particular, they forced people to revise their economic expectations.”
…as opposed to “they triggered a correction of [existing] economic expectations.” Even if that’s a correct statement, it’s just too literal, you know?
German original: “Sollte das ausgefüllte Fehlerformular dem Repair-Kit nicht beiliegen oder unvollständig sein”
English translation: “If the error form is not included in the repair kit or if it is not filled in completely”
I was compelled to show acuity in how I translated this, for a literal translation actually sounds properly errant: “If the filled-in error form should not be included in the repair kit or be incomplete…”
German original: “Die Werkzeugmaschinen der Zukunft differenzieren sich dabei über innovative Steuerungstechnologie mit höchstem Bedienkomfort”
English translation: “The machine tools of the future differentiate themselves via innovative control technology with the highest user convenience.”
There’s a reason why I translated “Bedienkomfort” as “user convenience” and not “user comfort”
French original: “Parallèlement à la compétition, les 50 000 visiteurs attendus auront l’occasion de voir s’illustrer des amateurs et des célébrités lors du Prestige Trophy (CSI 2) et de l’Invitational Trophy (CSI 1) qui se disputeront tout au long du week-end.”
English translation: “50,000 visitors are expected, and in addition to the competition they will be able to see amateurs and celebrities doing their thing during the Prestige Trophy (CSI 2) and the Invitational Trophy (CSI 1) – they will be competing throughout the weekend.”
That was the phrasing I used in my English translation of that; not anything like, “In parallel with the competition, the expected 50,000 visitors will be able to see amateurs and celebrities showing themselves during the Prestige Trophy (CSI 2) and the Invitational Trophy (CSI 1) – they will be disputing throughout the weekend.”
French original: “Raed Bawayah : empreintes de passage”
English translation: “Raed Bawayah: footprints of journeys”
I looked for a different angle in my translation of “empreintes” and “passage”, not just as individual words by themselves, but as how they were used together in a three-word saying. “Passage prints” sounds beyond commonly strange or obscure, after all.
French original: “Ce soir, toute nostalgie de 2014 sera proscrite”
English translation: “This evening, all nostalgia of 2014 shall be banished as a matter of principle.”
Regarding “proscribed” as an unwieldy term in the English translation of this French phrase – especially given its context where it’s not actually a case of a rule that is to be obeyed – I decided that I just had to look for a completely new term. Then I decided that some whole multi-word phrase of my own creation would be more appropriate, and “all nostalgia of 2014 shall be banished as a matter of principle” is what I went with at the end of the day.
French original: “Le présent document est établi électroniquement et est muni d’une signature électronique avancée pa le gestionnaire du registre de commerce”
English translation: “This document was drafted electronically and it comes with an advance electronic signature apposed by the manager of the trade register”
This one really frustrated me. I remember finding it hard to be sure whether “avancée” was meant to be “advance”, “advanced” or “apposed”, but the headline just above it went “Document muni d’une signature électronique avancée” (which I translated as “Document with an advance electronic signature”).
How close to incomprehensible could you be while remaining (easily enough) comprehensible (without sounding stupid, innit)? And how would you do this? “Foreigner’s talk of your own language”, maybe?…