As a self-employed entrepreneur, I think it’s a good idea for me to address the prospect of customers and potential customers wondering how I deal with my own limitations (whether they realise it or not). As a translator, for me this would mean not just time and resources constraints but the whole scope of “getting it right” for the words that I use in my translation of things, including more abstruse things like terminology and research issues.

Have you ever found yourself thinking that someone else is or might be thinking “poor him / her”, meaning you, but in a way that is as much marked by humour as it is marked by sympathy? Forrest Gump probably never did, as far as he went in spite of himself, he would probably enjoy reading faux pas statements as much as the rest of us – I’m not just talking about bad translations but comments which, for what they reflect or suggest, are comments that you just couldn’t make up.

Like a lot of people, I’ve seen plenty of bad translations, and some appeal to me more than others. Like the hotel in Athens with a sign that said, “Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of [one time] and [another time] daily.” Or the place in Norway with the sign that said, “Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.” And then there’s film subtitles. “Beat him out of recognizable shape!” “I’ll fire aimlessly if you don’t come out!” “Miss, shall we make it?” And so on.

Some bad translations are more puzzling than others. Like the hotel in China with a sign in English that said, “It is forbidden to play the recorder in the guest rooms.” Do they really mean “recorder”? If so, why? Weird subtitles I have seen include the following: “Suck the coffin mushroom now.” “And these are toes chopped down by spacemen.” “Stick back your heads.” I could go on, but I’m supposed to be a busy man, right? I once thought of categorising mistranslations that I’ve seen, but then decided that it would be a waste of time.

Anyway, back to the feeling I mentioned in paragraph 2. Maybe you’ve had that feeling when you’re not convinced that other people understand what you’re saying… maybe you’ve had it when you think that people “sort of” understand what you’re saying. I’m thinking of a time when I was having a Skype discussion with a woman representing a Romanian translation agency I’d done work for beforehand. When she started the conversation she said, “Hello George. Am I disturbing?” Poor her. But I knew she meant interrupting me in my work, and I didn’t have to think about it before I realised it. These days, whenever I feel discouraged as a result of some sort of idea of things being not quite what they seem, I think of Frank Sinatra. “That’s life…”
OK, end of comment. Having said all that, I’m ready to start my next translation job. Believe me.