Foreword: I should make a point of remembering this article when it comes to practicing and improving my multilingual transcription-translation skills. And translating spoken words in audio files and videos is hardly rare these days.
Let me start by saying that the video clip here is a sample of the South Park episode “Funnybot”, which features a German character speaking in (so-called) German while English subtitles are provided (0:55-1:58). When I say “speaking in (so-called) German”: whoever did this was clearly no native speaker, and while they may have a rudimentary knowledge of the language (which might – might – be enough when engaging in idle conversation in it), there were plenty of inaccuracies I came across here which were just jaw-droppingly bad. I mean, South Park, for its unique style and the topics it dares to touch on and the way in which does so, really is a deservedly highly respected and acclaimed cartoon series. Controversial or not, I know I think highly of it. But I didn’t write this article to promote, or indeed discredit, South Park. That’s not my business. All I’m saying is: whatever you do, don’t take this source seriously for the purposes of practicing your German – in this case, trying to get accustomed to spoken German audio rhythms when you listen to natives talking in the spoken language such as it really is.
At the time of writing this, I thought of my article “My resistance to being deluded by machine translators”, which I posted online on 5 February 2019. You see, what features here is an exercise which largely resembles that one. I write out what I was able to make out the man to be saying in German (well, poorly imitated German), with English translations, and further comments, wherever I deemed appropriate. I should point out that not all of the German I write here is grammatically correct, and one or two bits of it aren’t even German words at all. If you speak German, you will just have to weigh what I write here against the respective content in the video. So, if you will just go to 0:55 in this video, this is what I made out (so to speak):
Ja, ja, ja…
English translation: Yes, yes, yes…
Deutschland ist ein Land “und stollt Looten”
The quotation marks are there for a reason: that definitely was not proper German. It would have been quite OK to say “Deutschland ist ein Land von stolzen Leuten”. Have Google Translate translate this into English and see for yourself, while also seeing how it should actually be pronounced. (I checked it.)
After the bit above, all I could make out was: “und wir werden nicht dies belängt lehmen”, and this is all I have to say about it:
“Wir” here sounds too much like “Wer”, which means “Who”, and which really is just as common a word as “We” when you think about it.
“Nicht” was pronounced like “Nikt”.
The final three words were words I just couldn’t decipher at all. Let me make it clear that I refer to the English subtitles provided in the video as I write this; all I got was “And we will not…”. And “diese Beleidigung nehmen”, the best equivalent I can think of, just doesn’t come close to “dies belängt lehmen”. I’m baffled.
Then we have what I could best transcribe only as “Der Komedie-Awarden-Wahler haben sehr Scham auf sich!” which would translate literally as “The comedy awards voters have a lot of shame on themselves!” Of course, while that is technically grammatically correct (if odd) English, this is not proper German. For a start, in German, the definite article (in the nominative case) for anything plural is “die”. And “Wahler” should be “Wähler”. Meanwhile, “sehr” means “very”, but the word that follows “sehr” here is “Scham”, which is a noun, not an adjective. And how could it not have been “auf sich gebracht” that was said?
For “Der Komedie-Awarden-Wahler sind falsch!”: apart from what I’ve already said about the incorrect definite article and “Wahler”, ever since school I’ve known “falsch” to be only an antonym of “richtig”, meaning “correct” – having seen “falsch” in this context I’m compelled to believe that the adjective applies only to statements themselves while not being supposed to suggest anything about whoever is behind the declaration of them, if you know what I mean. After all, “wrong” in English is not always used in the sense of simply “incorrect.” (Please, consider this to be nothing more than job conditioning showing.)
Ich mocht der Welt aber ich da wir Deutsch sehr sehr sehr lustig sind!
This isn’t even grammatically correct – “I wanted the world but I that we German are very very very funny!” But anyway: how could “möchte” be end up reproduced as “mocht”, to hear how it would be read here? The “da” after the “ich” should be “dass”; again, I just cannot get my head around such carelessness and sloppiness. And if you mean to refer to German individuals, then “Deutsch” should indeed be acknowledged as a noun, meaning that it should always come with a conjugation suffix, whatever the case.
Wir machen dei Witzlei im Büro und zu Haus.
OK, I really can be a bit sympathetic here. Not that “dei” is clearly improperly pronounced and it should be “die”, which anyone who speaks German at even a basic level should be able to get without me having to explain it here; I’m talking about “Witzlei”. Coming from someone who has a degree in German, I actually don’t agree that “Witzlei” is a real German word, much as I would otherwise be inclined to define it in English as “jokes” in the sense of “joke content [under the concept of jokes]”. But I would definitely say “Wir machen das Witzen im Büro und zu Haus”, “Witzen” to be understood as a noun which basically means “the engaging/performing of jokes”; just not quite the same as “Witzlei”, if that word ever existed.
Ich werde jetzt und er deutsch Witz sagen.
Again, that sentence, while all the words it contains are German, just isn’t grammatical. This is what I heard in the video anyway, whether you consider it “fully accurate” or not; and the best I can “translate” this into English would be “I will now and he say German joke.” “Jetzt” was blatantly incorrectly pronounced and “er” means “he”. And, whatever the proper case ending, the adjective “deutsch” would always be accompanied by some suffix. Final point: “sagen” simply means to “say” rather than “tell”; I really cannot treat “sagen” always as a transitive verb as such.
Un Wurschtmacker kauft ein Müslibox.
Yes, “Un” is simply not a German word at all, but it’s clear (to people who speak German, anyway) that this is supposed to be a (singular) indefinite article, which always has the stem ein-, however it should be conjugated in any particular case. “Wurschtmacker” is a flagrantly inaccurate pronunciation: “sausage maker” is “Wurstmacher”, and you can look up the proper pronunciation of that on Google Translate if you don’t follow. Finally, there’s “Müslibox”. As it is, Google Translate will confirm that there is an actual German word “Box”, meaning “box”; but it’s feminine, not neuter, meaning that “ein” should be “eine”. I will add that I likely would have insisted on saying “eine Box von Müsli” – “a box of muesli”… is it just me or does “eine Müslibox” hint more at “a box made of muesli”, even though no-one conceives of such a thing?
Ik werde jetzt nott ander Witz sagen
In my view, “Ich” was mispronounced, as was “jetzt” (again), while there is no such actual German word as “nott” (I of course get that it was supposed to be “nicht”), there is a lack of an indefinite article and there should be a conjugating suffix with “ander”, however it may be used in this way. And again, “sagen” is used the wrong in my eyes here.
Knockwurst, knockwurst.
That sure doesn’t sound onomatopoeic! And “Wurst” is sausage (as we have already determined here)!
Wer ist das?
Who is that?
That’s actually 100% sound.
Ein Kannibal.
No, German for “a cannibal” is actually “einer Kannibale”. At least, I sure heard only “Ein Kannibal” here.
Was?
Yes, this definitely means “What?” in German, and nothing but. This was actually wholly correct, even if it was only a single word. And then…
Du bist etwas zu sterben und gegessen werden!
That was the best I could make it out as, and I know that this isn’t really proper German at all. A literal translation of it would be “You are something to die and be [or should that be “become”?] eaten!” – it just doesn’t work on a common sense level!
Schweinhund! Ich werde er und jetzt umbringen!
They used “Schweinhund” as a “German word” for “asshole” (or so I heard)? How does that work? In normal German, “Schwein” means “pig” and “Hund” means “dog”. Truth be told, “Schwein” is actually acknowledged as a “proper” insult in German, but it’s hardly truly vulgar in nature. As for “Ich werde er und jetzt umbringen!” (at least, such was the best I could make it out as), this is not grammatically correct German either; basically “I will he and kill now!” Unless I misheard “er” as “dir” for “you”, in which case that would also be incorrect as “dir” is dative; the accusative form would be “dich”. And call me pedantic but would you actually use the German word “umbringen” for “kill” or “murder”, when the latter always has negative connotations as a very serious crime?